Day 11

Nearly at the end of day 11. I’ve decided to do this absolutely by the book, no matter how horrible I feel, and do 12 weeks on the liquid diet and one week of step 2 with a meal. So I have 73 more days before I get to eat a meal. That’s unless I get serious health problems or the weight loss stops altogether for 4 weeks. Then I need to think again. But I doubt that will happen.

Had a bit of a fail with the order this week – for some reason I’ve got far more soups left than shakes, and now I’m having to have soup for breakfast. The thought is stomach churning, but actually it’s ok.

As of this morning I’m now down to 14 stone 8 1/2. My weight seems to drop every other day, but the last couple of days I’ve been feeling quite down about it. The Husband says I’m in ketosis because I smell weird, but I’m still hungry most of the time. I know some of it is a reaction to the food around me – Husband and three strapping sons still eating as normal – but some of it actually is hunger. I can last about 3 – 3 1/2 hours between shakes before I get physically, stomach-rumbly hungry.

I’ve got used to my surprising new shape now, and now I’m just feeling unhappy that it’s not changing despite the weight loss, but last night I was looking at my fingers and realised that they’re not chubby any more, they just look normal. I guess the weight loss in strange places won’t show:-) Also, my left calf is still fatter than my right calf:-)

Yesterday I wore my swimming cossie outside to sunbathe, and today we all went swimming. My cossie is an M&S 16 and fits perfectly. I know that can’t be quite right, because I tried on a Matalan size 20 jacket today which fit nicely. The 18 did up but was tight, which actually made me look kind of hourglass instead of barrel:-)

I had a good look in the mirror with my costume on and my thighs are bizarrely droopy and covered in stretchmarks. And I’m still fat, in a rather matronly and solid kind of a way. Still, I put on the cossie today and went out into the pool without a second thought.

I am feeling fairly horrible at the moment. I think this might be because where things are difficult I would normally comfort eat, and that option is not available to me. But even if I have to sleep most of the way through to the end, I will not give up on this diet. After the end though, when it comes to maintenance, that juice fast that’s been all over the media recently looks really tempting:-)

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