I Don’t Know How To Wash My Face

When I was a little girl, back in the Stone Age, I think I might have washed my face with soap. Then I grew up a little, and shower gel was invented so I washed my face with shower gel.

I grew up a bit more, and became a teenage girl, and acne and various other skin problems arrived in my life. My parents took me to the beauty counters in Boots, and when they were feeling flush, David Evans in Cwmbran (our local department store, now a House of Fraser). I’m fairly certain I actually did meet the original Sacherel lady, later made famous by Victoria Wood:-) During this time I learned that cleanse, tone and moisturise was essential to every female’s daily routine – although I struggled to do it every day.

I even once went to an exhibition while we were on holiday at Pontins, where a lady with an slightly orange face and bright orange lipstick sold me some products from Oriflame. I’ve just looked them up, and they still exist! I also remember with great fondness Japanese Washing Grains – they still exist as well!

I can’t remember now how well any of them worked, but I must have tried just about everything within my price-range-at-the-time in my life. However, I was told recently that because of various health issues, I should be careful of some of the toxins that go into beauty products, and around the same time, I found Tropic Skincare. I’ve tried various of their products, and I do like them, but I’ve recently run out of my cleanser and moisturiser.

I’m getting old, you know. I’m getting wrinkly, and a bit saggy, and I have age spots on the skin on my face – they’re like really big light brown freckles, and I noticed another two the other day. I don’t mind them at all – but I feel I should be taking care of my skin, and honestly I do notice that my face feels a bit tight and unpleasant if I wash it with shower gel and don’t use a moisturiser. So I have to get a replacement skincare routine.

Now Tropic Skincare products are great, but they are pricey (quite rightly, they are very good products), and I decided to see if I could find a cleanser and moisturiser that aren’t full of toxins and are aimed at more of a budget-focussed market. However – as it turns out, it’s not as simple as that.

On The Body Shop website alone, there are:

  • gels
  • facial wipes
  • cream cleansers
  • facial washes
  • facial cleansing polishes
  • cleansing butters
  • squeaky-clean scrubs
  • clearing foaming cleansers
  • silky cleansing oils
  • a 3-in-1 wash scrub mask

I’m not unfairly singling out The Body Shop – a quick run round the interweb shows that most other brands are equally confusing. I looked at Tropic Skincare as well, but they’ve changed their range, and whatever I bought last time that worked so well, they don’t appear to sell any more, having replaced them with products that have different names and packaging…

So I’m baffled. I’m not even sure this is specifically an autism/asperger’s issue. I believe that this is a marketing ploy to get everyone to buy more stuff. I’m sure it works too. But now I’m sitting here, looking at my laptop like a rabbit in the headlights, thinking ‘I just want to wash my face’…

If only they had a product called ‘Facial Wash for Older Ladies with Age Spots and Slightly Wrinkly Skin’… and if you put that exact phrase into Google, products from Liz Earle, Vichy and Eve Lom are returned. Who knew? Still, they’re around the same prices as Tropic Skincare, and called equally confusing titles – so all in all I’ll be getting something (who knows what) from the Body Shop.

And dear readers, if any of you have any hints or tips or recommendations on toxin-free facial care for older ladies, please please please let me know!

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